February 14, 2014
Let’s meet. But only when the time is right. Definitely not now because maybe you’re not ready for me. Or maybe.. maybe, I’m not ready for you. So let’s meet, alright? When the time is right. When I’ve wholeheartedly loved myself. When I’ve made my family and friends proud of me. When I’ve given in to my passions. When I’ve written poems, short stories, and novels worthy of being immortalized in books. When I’ve finally mastered the art of strumming, plucking and picking the tangerine-ish guitar I have on a stand at the side of my bed. When I’ve captured photographs that are awe-inspiring and amazing and just beautiful. When I’ve reached the stars I’ve always dreamt of touching. When I’ve seen places, met people, experienced things like letting my tongue out to catch and taste snowflakes, surfed the waves in Siargao, touched my hands on the walls of Jerusalem, danced my way through the streets of Paris, stood by the edge of the railings of the Eiffel, sat under the cherry blossoms, eaten sushi and ramen, and drank soju.
When I’ve truly lived the life I wanted for myself.
Then and only then will I ever be prepared and welcome you with my arms outstretched, my smile as big and wide as ocean and my heart already opened.
But if you should want to meet me before that, or we’d accidentally bump into each other, know that I won’t have an inkling as to how I should react at first. I’ll be stumbling through my words and my voice will be as high as a soprano’s. My legs will probably threaten to buckle under me because it’s turned to jelly. And of course, I’ll be nervous around you during the first few dates. And I’ll still be shy after the sixth or seventh time we’d hang out. I’d still have my silent reservations about the whole relationship thing. Sometimes I’ll be holding back. When you’d lean in too closely and act as if you want to kiss me, I’ll look away. Or when you’d hug me so tight and I’ll start to feel a knot in my stomach and the butterflies have turned into killer bees, I’ll be the one to step away from your arms first. But if one day, while we’re sitting in a café, me cradling my cup of coffee and you sipping on your milkshake, I’ll happen to look in the mirror and I’ll see myself as a happy and better person, I’ll know that bumping into you that one night on a quiet street was not plain coincidence. I’ll know for sure that it was the twist in my story’s plot penned with great thought and care by the Greatest Romance Writer of all.
And Love, know that there will be nothing sweeter, happier, and better than you beingTrue, Real, Genuine.
So I’ll keep the stars in my heart, and the flowers on my hair and the rainbow drops in my life. And you’ll be seeing me just like this : simply complicated, beautifully eccentric and ready to take that life-long adventure with you to the End of the World and beyond.
See you when I see you.